Cornerstone Christian Counselling Centre

by Janet Howden, Counsellor

Dissociation ­ Understanding How It Starts

Anger, fear, sadness, and free-floating anxiety are some of the common reasons why people come to our centre seeking help. For some people these unexplained emotional outbursts are a symptom of dissociation.

Dissociation is the ability to disconnect from the normal processing of thoughts, feelings, emotions and memories.

We all dissociate to one degree or another. If, as a student, you listen to music and do homework at the same time, you are dissociating. If you are cooking supper and talking on the phone at the same time, you are also dissociating. These are examples of normal dissociation.

There is also trauma-based dissociation on the dissociative continuum. This more intensive dissociation is a response to trauma in a person's life, a coping mechanism which usually first occurs in childhood before the age of 8. Dissociating is a way of 'retreating,' and in fact often provides a mental and emotional escape from overwhelming pain. It easily becomes a habitual response to life situations.

Trauma includes extreme and severe abuse, like sexual abuse or physical abuse. Trauma also results from other situations which, because they seem so understandable and so rational, are often overlooked. Examples would include a young child being separated from their primary caregiver for a period of time, an accident, hospitalization, or witnessing another person's trauma.

If a child does not feel the presence of adequate emotional support during a crisis, then dissociation may become the coping strategy. The child 'stores' the memory or emotions away mentally, like packing something in a suitcase and putting it away in the storage place in some far corner, never to be looked at again. Then they go on with life as if nothing painful ever occurred. Sometimes the emotions leak out of the suitcase(s), but they are not connected to a memory so no one knows why they are there. What no one realizes is that the feelings and memories are buried alive - and instead of diminishing, their power actually increases and intensifies in the storage place.

On the far end of the dissociative continuum is DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder). This is when the trauma has been so severe and continuous that the child cannot tolerate the mental pain. Their mind creates a different identity to hold the pain. The identity has a separate name and function from the child. If abuse continues the child will continue to create separate identities to survive.

Once these children become adults they often seek out help. The great news is that help is available! People do not have to go on living with the feelings of sadness, fear, panic or anxiety that continued dissociation produces. Jesus knows the hidden places of the heart. He desires to replace the fear, sadness, or anxiety with his peace, joy and love.

In our counselling practice, we see this happen for clients on a daily basis! Helping people become more connected to Jesus is what it is all about.

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Cornerstone Christian Counselling Centre
258 King St. N.,
519-883-3922
Fax 519-883-3924
Waterloo, Ontario, Canada.
mail: Box 38029 at 256 King St. N. Waterloo Ont. N2J 4T9

For further information contact us at www.cornerstonechristian.ca or info@cornerstonechristian.ca