Cornerstone Christian Counselling Centre
by Carol Child, MSW, RSW
Marriage RecoveryGod wants to bless us in our marriages. One often assumes that if both partners in a marriage are Christians, their marriage will be fulfilling. However, Christian marriages are not exempt from difficulties, conflict and divorce. Many Christians pray for their marriages, and end up asking, 'Why are things not changing?" In my experience, the theme of many spouses' prayers for their marriage is "God change my spouse!" Often it is difficult to see our own contribution to marital difficulties, and yet this is a key element in resolving negative martial dynamics.
It is important to consider the benefits of each spouse focusing attention on their contribution to the unhappiness in their marriage. Focusing on self is important because each partner comes to the marriage with individual "stuff". Often spouses come into marriage with unresolved childhood issues which make it difficult, if not impossible, to relate to each other in mature and loving way. As a rule, the more intense the marital issues, the greater the unresolved early life issues in each spouse. I have found that it is usually more effective to help each spouse gain a better awareness of self, healing for damaged emotions and a more positive focus on life through individual counselling before I work with the couple on their marital issues. Individual counselling begins to address the root issues that are contributing to the negative martial dynamics and in turn paves the way for more effective marriage counselling.
As a counsellor at Cornerstone Christian Counselling Centre, I use many tools to help couples explore and identify root issues to the difficulties they are experiencing. Prayer healing is one of the most effective tools used at our centre. Through prayer healing, we have found that God reveals the source or event in childhood that has contributed to the individualπs negative thoughts, attitudes, and beliefs about self and others. God, through personal revelation, can transform the individualπs negativity into positive attitudes and believes, resulting in lasting emotional healing. Each spouse is then able to address marital issues that have not already been eliminated through the individual healing.
It is important to recognize that God wants to heal your marriage, and both individuals within the marriage. I encourage all couples struggling to solve marital difficulties to seek help from a professional Christian counsellor in the early stages of these problems, to help avoid martial breakdown. Professional counselling that looks to God will help to ensure that the root causes and resulting symptoms of negative martial dynamics are addressed.
Cornerstone Christian Counselling Centre
258 King St. N.,
519-883-3922
Fax 519-883-3924
Waterloo, Ontario, Canada.
mail: Box 38029 at 256 King St. N. Waterloo Ont. N2J 4T9
For further information contact us at www.cornerstonechristian.ca or info@cornerstonechristian.ca
