Alf Davis
Agape International Christian Counselling
Oakville, Ontario, Canada
by Alfred C. W. Davis MBA, M.Div.
Partnering With Jesus for Life Part 21. How To Partner With Christ For High Self-Confidence
In every person's life, I visualize the existence of two cups that hold words and thoughts. In one cup, people place their negative words, the criticisms they hear and all their negative interpretations. Let's call this the negative cup. In the second cup, the positive cup, they hold all the helpful inputs that they hear, think and experience.
As we experience life, these cups are influenced by two principles. Studies show that approximately three quarters of all communication is negative. Consequently, a person naturally has more opportunity to fill the negative cup. A second consideration relates to the often held belief that positive words will give a person a swelled head. For this reason and also through a universal reluctance to share positive feedback, people tend to receive a limited amount of input for their positive cup. Based on the competitive, negative world in which we all live, the natural state is for a person to experience too much in their negative cup and not enough in their positive cup. The result is low self-esteem and low self-confidence.
Countering The Lies and Negative Input
One of the ways to stop the build up of hurtful thoughts in the negative cup is to check with your partner Jesus, about the truth of the thought. When a negative thought is encountered, have the person invite Jesus into the place in his/her mind where the negative thought is held and ask, "The True Lord Jesus Christ of Nazareth, is that true?". Two things can happen. Either it is not true or it is true.
In the case where the negative statement is not true, ask Jesus to provide further clarity about the truth. When the person hears the truth Christ wants him/her to have in his/her mind, have the person put the truth that's heard into the positive cup. The result is twofold. First, no new damaging material goes into the negative cup. Second, something good is now available to be put into the positive cup. Already the feeling inside the person starts to change as the balance shifts from negative to positive.
In the case where the negative statement is true, have the person ask Jesus, "If it's true Lord, what do I need to know?" (a) If sin is revealed to the person, have the person confess the sin to God and ask Jesus for help in knowing how to repent. (b) If there is no sin involved, the person can still ask Jesus what change would be helpful to eliminate future negative inputs. When repentance or change occurs, either way, the person addresses what needs to be changed and new positive behaviour is introduced. Previously, without using Jesus in this way, the person would probably have lived with the guilt of the sin and put all the self-punishing thoughts into the negative cup. Nothing would have gone into the positive cup. As the person stops sinning and starts doing what God wants, guilt falls away, nothing is put into the negative cup and now the repenting produces something that can be put into the positive cup. In this way the negative cup can be capped, eliminating a buildup of negative thoughts and the positive cup can be filled until it is full.
With Jesus as a partner, the person can invite the True Lord Jesus Christ of Nazareth into the thoughts to confirm truth, dismiss lies and invalid negative thoughts and to help the person change where sin exists. As the person develops an active daily dialogue with Christ, (s)he has the ability to manage his/her negative and positive cups. The result will be a growing and strengthening self-esteem and self-confidence.
2. How to Partner With Christ For Good Focus and Time Management
The elements of being well directed include: values, vision, mission, goals, priorities, strategies, plans, tactics and time management. The self-help industry teaches us that the "self" is responsible for managing each one of these activities. In one sense that is true, but because God is not in the self-help paradigm, the self is the only one involved. The more effective the self is in planning each of these functions, theoretically, the more successful the person will be. As a result, the world's approach is all about the "will" of the self which fosters comparrogance and doing everything in one's own strength. A partnership with Christ offers a different dynamic. Here, the "will of God" is introduced into the decision making process. Instead of making the decision all alone, the person can involve the will of his/her partner, the True Lord Jesus Christ of Nazareth, and verify if the person's will is compatible with God's will. The benefit of aligning the human will with God's will is that God's desire is that His will be done on earth as it is in heaven. For the person, (s)he can then proceed knowing that (s)he is working out of obedience which takes a significant pressure off of the individual. It is easier to function out of obedience than to have all the weight on one's own shoulders.
Warning: God does not want us to be involved with the fallen angel called divination. Divination is the practice that seeks to foresee or foretell future events or discover hidden knowledge by the interpretation of omens or by the aid of supernatural powers. Jesus wants us to have a personal relationship with Him and only him. He clearly states that he does not want us to be involved with any form of idolatry or any other supernatural power. So, one needs to be extra careful in this process of checking with Jesus that it is the True Lord Jesus Christ to whom one is listening. If the answer seems strange, have the person check again with the True Lord Jesus Christ of Nazareth who was born in the flesh and died on the cross for him/her. God wants us to live in the present not in the future. So, the checking is for a daily verification that the person is in God's will, as opposed to a long term forecast which God normally does not provide.
As the individual uses Jesus Christ as a daily partner for checking on what direction to go and how to use the available time, decisions become easier. Procrastination and indecision are reduced and the person has less personal pressure as (s)he proceeds with the confidence of being obedient to God.
In the concluding part 3 we will see how partnering with Jesus can help us meet our daily goals in both thought and behavior.
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Alfred C.W. Davis, MBA, M.Div.
Agape Healing International Inc.
111 Prince Charles Drive, Unit 103
Oakville, ON L6K 3X3
www.agapehealing.org
Tel. 905.815.9638
Fax 905.842.9757
Alf Davis is a Clinical Member of AAMFT. He graduated with a Master of Divinity degree from Tyndale Seminary, majoring in counseling. As well as being a therapist, he provides spiritual direction and counseling for pastors and Christian care givers. He is on the Board of Asia Mission Center International and he teaches the seminar, "A Theory and Process of Christian Counseling and Inner Healing" both internationally, at Tyndale Seminary and at local churches.
