Mars Hill Centre
www.marshillcentre.com
www.marshillcentre.com
Be Who Jesus Is -- A Safe Person!
I am both honoured and surprised when people interject in a recovery group or counselling session, "I've never told anyone this." The surprising thing is not the trauma the individual suffered, or even their response to it. Time and time again I am surprised to be the first person that has heard the horrors they have suffered in their lives. Many of these people are Christians; most have been in "the church" for many years. Nevertheless, no one really knows the tragedy of their lives.I've often wondered why they choose to share the completeness of their story with me. I used to flatter myself by thinking that it was some super-special anointing of God. And, well, it is partly but not entirely. As I would talk further with these individuals I would often ask them why they chose now, and me, to share their story. While the words were different for each person the theme was the same. They felt safe.
Many Christian groups have done much to increase the physical safety of those within their walls. Unfortunately, gaining people's trust and being a safe person is not simply a matter of installing a few new windows. While these actions and safeguards are necessary and important they are only the beginning. Missing the reality that providing a safe place begins with who we are internally, many of us have reduced safety to an aspect of building design. Safety begins with our internal world.
What does Jesus' relational style teach us about being safe people?
1. No Pride, No Shame -- Jesus and Zaccheus (Luke 19:1-10)
During a walkabout in Jericho, Jesus notices a short man perched in a tree, craning to see him. We don't really know Zaccheus motivation to see Jesus. Crowd curiosity? Perhaps?
Zaccheus was a chief tax collector, a contract employee of the occupying Romans. Whether or not he had ever been teased because of his height, he was definitely spurned for his occupation. He was wealthy because of the thievery of his associates and himself. Think of Zaccheus as the local businessman in your neighbourhood who has recently be charged, and convicted with embezzling a few million dollars. Probably not someone you would strike up a conversation with on the street, let alone invite him to your back yard barbecue.
Because Jesus was secure in who he was, and secure in his relationship with his Father he didn't care what others might have thought. He didn't care if onlookers were shocked.
Equally important, Jesus would have felt no pride in his graciousness to this sinner. Early in my Christian walk, some friends and I would head to the absolute worse part of town to go street witnessing. I look back on this time and realize my mixed motives in it all. Yes, I wanted people to know how much Jesus loved them. I wanted these people in the inner city to be free from drugs and alcohol. Unfortunately I also liked the boost it gave my ego. People in our church praised us. And in my insecurity and woundedness I thought it had earned me some extra favour with God. There was none of this in Jesus heart. He simply loved Zaccheus. Nothing else was important.
In ministry, we must guard our hearts so that we are not motivated by pride, or the flip side of the same coin, insecurity. Some of the most proud people I know are also the most insecure. Flaunting their ministry accomplishments, even veiled in the Christian-eze- "Look what God did" is merely a prop to their wounded security. The Kingdom of God is based on Jesus' example of grace. He gave His life freely for us with no personal gain attached to it.
Public shaming, or even private shaming for that matter, had no role in Zaccheus repentance. Its interesting to note that in this account Jesus doesn't seem to challenge Zaccheus about anything! And Jesus being a prophet, and knowing Zaccheus occupation, could have come up with many things that needed correcting. "Zaccheus, you need to tithe properly." "Zaccheus, you have taken too much money from the people." The account records simply that after Jesus' invited himself to Zaccheus house, Zaccheus was moved to repentance.
In our hearts, most of us know our shortcomings. Even though we are masters at cover up, we know that what we have been doing, or thinking, is against the principles of the kingdom of God. Jesus did not use shame to illicit a response from Zaccheus, rather Jesus unconditional acceptance of Zaccheus provided a way out of the shame Zaccheus carried in his heart. Never use shame tactics or emotional manipulation to bring repentance.
2. Belief not Condemnation -- Jesus and Peter (Matthew 16: 17-20; Matthew 26:31-35; John 21: 15-19)
Jesus saw in Peter more than what was obvious from his behaviour and attitude. If we are to be safe people we must be able to see beyond the surface and see into people's hearts.
Sometimes that requires taking a risk. I think of the people who have done that for me. Because they believed in me, I began to be able to believe in myself. Then I was truly able to allow the Holy Spirit to direct my life. Prior to that, I had limited what God could do through me, not because of God, but well, because I didn't really think he could, or would work through me.
Jesus saw people's hearts, and risked his love on them.
3. No Program, Relationship -- Jesus and the Pharisees (John 3: 1-21)
Does it come as a shock to you that Jesus loved the Pharisees? He did. While he openly and publicly rebuked their religious practices, he desired that they come into a true relationship with God.
In John chapter three Jesus receives a night time visitor, the Pharisee Nicodemus. His dialogue with Nicodemus is different than any discussion he has had with anyone else. He talks with Nicodemus on a fairly abstract, theological level about the workings of the Holy Spirit. And then he challenges Nicodemus to be born anew, or born again, by the Spirit.
This is the only place in the New Testament where the phrase "born again" is used. It was an illustration specifically shared with Nicodemus, so that he could understand and come into the kingdom. Why is it then that we tend to use that phrase with everyone?
One of the most striking things about the recorded ministry of Jesus is that every encounter is unique. Granted, the gospels are only a synopsis of all that Jesus said and did, but still they show us a principle. Jesus treated each person as an individual. He respected them enough to not resort to routines or methodologies to address their need.
In the next article we will look at how Jesus' models healthy boundaries between men and women.
The Mars Hill Centre is a outreach, recovery centre located in the trendy, urban Old Strathcona Area of Edmonton. Since 1995 we have connected with people who are interested in spirituality and healing but may be wary of a typical church. We offer a variety of recovery groups throughout the year aimed at healing hearts, restoring relationships and creating community. Also, we connect with our nation through the 'Native Healing Connection' a nation-wide referral line for adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse. (NHC is a project of World Vision Canadas' Aboriginal Programs.)
Cheryl Shea, M.Div.
Team Leader
Mars Hill Centre
address: Box 4400, Edmonton, AB T6E 4T5
phone: 780-435-0202
office location: 8318-104 Street (basement Strathcona Baptist Church)
email: cheryl@marshillcentre.com
