Mars Hill Centre
www.marshillcentre.com
www.marshillcentre.com
Developing a Safe Environment
Being a safe person means that you will work at building physically, emotionally and spiritually safe environment for people. For the sake of this discussion we will look at constructing an emotionally and spiritually safe place for people.Since 1994 the Lord has given me the privilege of facilitating recovery groups for adult survivors of sexual abuse. If there was ever a need for a safe place to be real, it is in that group. Drawing on others experiences, and our own, we have developed something that seems to work.
When I interact with others involved in small group leadership, I am puzzled that they do not use a similar process for developing safety in a group setting. Ultimately, the nature of the group must be structured so that the characteristics of being a safe person we discussed earlier are encouraged, not discouraged in this setting. Appendix A includes some of the material we use to accomplish this. Confidentiality and respect are the keys.
It has become important that we meet with each person before the group starts. This gives the group leader an important opportunity to see where the potential group member is at, ensure the group is the right place for them, and let them know the kind of place we expect to be.
Every potential group member must sign a contract that says they agree to the way the group will operate. The key point for each group member to understand is that everything said in the group is confidential. No one, not the group facilitator nor any group member may share what is said outside the group unless specific permission is given to do so.
We have three exceptions to the rule, which also reflect our concern that the group, and all members of the group are safe. The first exception to our confidentiality rule is that if we believe an individual is suicidal we must report that to the proper authorities. Likewise, if we become aware of ongoing child abuse or if we are concerned a group member would physical endanger someone else we will report our concerns to child services or the local police. Third, if the group facilitator is concerned about something that was shared in the group, or how a situation could have been handled better the group leader may share this will their supervisor.
We did not specifically address the issue of confidentiality when we looked at Jesus' as a model of a safe person. Nonetheless he was. We have no accounts of Jesus saying publicly, or even to the disciples what had happened in his encounter with an individual.
Each of us must decide what level of confidentiality we will live with. If you are married and share everything with your spouse, the people in your care need to know this. You need to ensure that what is shared with your spouse stays with your spouse.
In groups and congregations it is important that confidential concerns do not leak out as prayer request. We have a committed group of prayer intercessors. One of the main criteria for being an intercessor for this ministry is an agreement with the concept of confidentiality. Even so, they are not given specific details of a person's situation unless we have received specific permission to do so. Imagine how a young woman felt after returning to church after a two-week absence. She had attempted suicide and somehow it had been circulated through the church via the prayer chain. She was ashamed of what she had done, and deeply hurt over the gossip that had circulated around her church home. It took her years to come back to church.
Confidentiality is critical if people knowing are to be able to trust us with the pain of their lives. It is important that we do not assume everyone understands the concept of confidentiality. I have known people that, without malice intent, share with another person what someone has told them. They think they are doing a good thing, perhaps even enlisting someone's help in prayer. However, if the individual has not given us permission to share their story we have no right to do that.
Being a safe person takes work. One of the results of the fall is that intrinsically this world is no longer a safe, life-giving place. Sin in each of us continues to cause us, often despite our best intentions, to be unsafe people and create unsafe environments. With Jesus as our model, and with his power at work in our lives the body of Christ can once again be the place of restoration it was always meant to be. The kingdom of God is a safe place.
The Mars Hill Centre is a outreach, recovery centre located in the trendy, urban Old Strathcona Area of Edmonton. Since 1995 we have connected with people who are interested in spirituality and healing but may be wary of a typical church. We offer a variety of recovery groups throughout the year aimed at healing hearts, restoring relationships and creating community. Also, we connect with our nation through the 'Native Healing Connection' a nation-wide referral line for adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse. (NHC is a project of World Vision Canadas' Aboriginal Programs.)
Cheryl Shea, M.Div.
Team Leader
Mars Hill Centre
address: Box 4400, Edmonton, AB T6E 4T5
phone: 780-435-0202
office location: 8318-104 Street (basement Strathcona Baptist Church)
email: cheryl@marshillcentre.com
