Shiloh Place Ministries
Seeing The World Experience the Father's Healing Love
Through the Hearts of the Leaders
www.shilohplace.org

Walking in Moral Integrity Part 3

3) Maintaining Moral Integrity

Trisha and I learned the hard way that whatever success, spiritual knowledge, or attainments that we may have are of little value if they do not lead into a life that is focused upon love and intimacy (1 Corinthians 13). An angry or hardened edge at home is our spiritual barometer for when our priorities are out of order. Here are some daily practical choices that we now make to help protect our marriage and keep us from tripping over one of the stumbling blocks mentioned.

1) We seek to make family needs priority over the needs of work or serving others. We try not to let busyness hinder us from taking time each week to share in conversational prayer and intimate discussion together.

2) We seek to make time each week to play and have fun together as a family. We go to the beach, the lake, surfing, fishing, or play games together. When we do not, our identities easily begin drifting back to working for the praise of man and away from intimacy.

3) We seek to walk in open, transparent relationships. We give permission to our prayer partners and mentors to ask us the hard questions about our personal lives. "How is your marriage doing? Are you seeking to meet your spouseπs need for intimacy?" We no longer hide our faults, fears, and insecurities from each other. Roy Hession, in The Calvary Road, wrote, "Light reveals. Darkness hides. Whenever we do anything or say anything to hide what we are or what we have done, that is darkness." Once we choose darkness, intimacy is lost and we begin controlling our relationships with darkness.

4) We seek to first share with each other the deep desires and needs of our hearts before we share with anyone else (except mentors) or in a group setting. This was difficult for us in the 1980's when we struggled so much with intimacy. However, as we began sharing with our prayer partners and counselors (same sex), we slowly began developing a sharing relationship with each other. Weekly reading and discussing a book about marriage also helped us enter into a new level of intimacy.

5) We seek to share with each other the times we may have defiling or tempting thoughts, or if we suspect that someone is seeking to attach themselves to one of us in an impure way. We agree together in prayer that no defilement takes place. We pray that the Cross be placed between us and the one we feel may be pulling on us. When I am away from home ministering or traveling, Trisha also daily prays a hedge of protection around me (see Hosea 2:5-7).

6) We seek to avoid spending too much time with the opposite sex without someone else present. If we ever feel drawn in an unhealthy way to a person, we talk with our mentors about it and pray through any issues that are surfacing.

7) We seek to be honest with ourselves! When we sense that our motivations are impure, when we cannot find rest in our family, when there is a continual angry edge at home, or when we seem to be putting blame on everyone else, we acknowledge we are in need. We initiate a meeting with our mentors and/or prayer partners to minister to our needs and to hold us accountable for our attitudes and actions.

8) At least every year or two, we seek mature and qualified Christian counselors or ministers of healing prayer and receive personal ministry or marital counseling and enrichment. We believe the future and maturity of our marriage and family depend upon our openness to regularly receive personal ministry and counseling from others.

If you are struggling with even one of the stumbling blocks mentioned, why wait to see if you are going to trip over others? Stop and think of the possible loss of all you have worked so hard to achieve. Once you cross the line of moral impropriety, you will not be remembered for all your success or the many people you have helped, but you will be remembered for the moral failure. Such an indiscretion immediately tarnishes your witness and all you have worked so hard to achieve. Right now, contact one of the counselors or healing ministries in your area that are listed on the Prayer Ministry page of our website.

(Perhaps you, or someone you know, have already experienced a more failure. First of all, we urge you to bring this into the light [with your pastor or same-sex counselor] and then place yourself in the vulnerable place of receiving ministry, allowing Father God to lovingly open up the roots of your actions and attitudes. This will include walking through many of the steps we have listed, but with restoration rather than prevention as the goal. Restoration takes time, but it is possible and it is easier if you admit your need willingly. Don't wait for your failure to be discovered - seek help today.)

In Father's love,
Jack & Trisha Frost

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PO Box 5
Conway, SC 29528, USA
(843) 365-8990
http://www.shilohplace.org
info@shilohplace.org