Shiloh Place Ministries
Seeing The World Experience the Father's Healing Love
Through the Hearts of the Leaders
www.shilohplace.org

Would You Rather Be Right Or Have a Relationship? Part 1
(Or Where Would You Be Without Judas?)

Not long ago Trisha and I were asked, "What three people have helped most to mature you and to release you in ministry?" At first thought, it was those people in our lives who have stood beside us and loved us through every trial and storm. But then we thought of several people who had not appeared to be loyal to us, those who sowed evil reports against us, those who tried to make themselves look good by exposing our faults and weaknesses to others. As we thought about those who had helped us most in ministry, we began to realize it is also some of the hurtful, difficult relationships that have had dramatic impact for good in our lives. Without them, we may never have discovered what was in us. They helped us discover how deeply our lives were rooted in pride. We began to see how opinionated we were and how we had a need to be right. They were the blessing of God to us, helping to expose how much we lived with a need to be needed. They, unknowingly, helped to motivate us to the Cross!

It's funny how, in God's Word, He often turns what seems right and fair upside down. That is because it is Satan who demands what is right and fair. He demands payment for our sins and is constantly pronouncing us "guilty, guilty, guilty." But it is God who does not want to give us what we deserve. He wants to give us an undeserved, unmerited gift. Satan traffics in law and in what is right and fair, what we deserve. God traffics in grace and mercy, what we do not deserve. Grace is a higher place than what is right and fair and Satan can never operate in grace, only in accusations.

Satan is known as the "accuser of the brethren". His thoughts are always negative, accusatory, pointing out others' faults, blaming others, devaluing, and demanding of rights and justice. Resentment, bitterness, and a heavy heart follow Satan's thoughts.

"God is love" and He is the opposite of Satan. His thoughts are always positive, comforting, edifying, encouraging, accepting, valuing, and loving. Grace, forgiveness, and innocence follow after God's thoughts. "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil" (Jeremiah 29:11)

Before Trisha and I had this revelation, not knowing these truths brought much harm to our own lives and ministries. We would receive hurt from people and our response would be for justice and what was right and fair. We acted more like God's policemen and would begin to develop accusatory thoughts or words about those who hurt us. Then we would become negative, critical, and devaluing towards them in our thought life. We did not realize it, but we were coming into agreement with Satan's thoughts with our own thoughts, and it brought us under judgment and hindered us from receiving healing and the blessings of God in our lives, families, and ministries. "But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment" (Matthew 5:22)

After all, when people mistreat and disappoint us, it is only natural to feel hurt and wounded. But do we respond with grace, "Father forgive them, for they know not what they are doing! They are only acting out of their own hidden core pain and rejection! Help me to cover them and restore relationship!" Or do we demand vindication, trying to justify and clear ourselves from blame? Do we try to make ourselves look good and innocent by exposing and talking about others' faults and thus making them look bad or in error?

Vindication can be one of the hungriest, most destructive appetites we possess. VINDICATION IS ROOTED IN DEMANDING OUR RIGHTS AND JUSTICE FOR THE WRONGS DONE TO US! But God says, "Vengeance is Mine." It is His right and it will cost us dearly to try helping Him out. When we do, God backs away from the situation and lets us handle things in our own fleshly, accusatory ways. Unknowingly, we are actually coming into agreement with Satan and separating ourselves from intimacy with God and from our inheritance in His blessings. When we decide we had better do something to help God, God help us!

It helps Trisha and I to look at it this way: it is not a matter of what we want to give to someone who hurts us. It is a matter of what we want to receive. Do we want to receive a hardened wounded heart that separates us from an intimate relationship with God and leads us into resentments, pride, and anxieties? Or do we want to enter into God's rest and walk in the joy of a lifestyle of forgiveness that produces a meek and gentle spirit? When we choose our response to wounding situations, we also choose our future rewards. "Give, and it will be given to you; good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, they will pour into your lap. For by your standard of measure it will be measured to you in return." (Luke 6:38) The context of this verse is not about money but about how we respond to those who hurt and disappoint us.

We make the decision whether to receive mistreatment at the hands of others as a blessing or as a curse. God has promised a blessing if we respond with forgiveness and grace. But when we respond with accusation, vindication, fault-finding, or blame shifting, we then give Satan a key to our front door and he can come and go as he pleases in our house. (Ephesians 4:26, 27)

"Blessed are you when men cast insults at you, and persecute you, and say all kinds of evil against you falsely, on account of Me. Rejoice, and be glad for your reward in heaven is great But I say to you, love your enemies, and pray for those who persecute you in order that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven; for He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. For if you love those who love you, what reward have you" (Matthew 5:11, 12, 44-4)

Next month we will see how what we thought was a curse can be turned into a blessing to accelerate our spiritual growth.

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PO Box 5
Conway, SC 29528, USA
(843) 365-8990
http://www.shilohplace.org
info@shilohplace.org